Headache, headache go away, come again some other day.

So I will assume that the medication cocktail I started on Tuesday is the cause behind my cranial discomfort.  Sometime Wednesday night it all began, it really hasn’t left me since.  One of those gather behind your eyes and stiffen your neck sort of headaches.  The kind that makes you paranoid that you’re having a stroke or the like.  I’m no stranger to headaches, migraines in my teens and sometime in my 30’s I started getting tension headaches.

Hold that thought…

There’s a little boy, maybe 7 years old in his own little world here at the Caribou Coffee I’m at.  Drawing on the blackboard and talking out loud some narrative going on in his head. I envy his ability to ride his imagination like that, with a reckless abandon not fearing judgement from his own head or the public that surrounds him.  I spent so many years in my backyard doing just the same…Now the narrative plays quietly in my head.  I don’t remember getting headaches as a child, being sick yes but I can’t recall headaches.

My head still hurts.

I have developed a relationship with my headaches over the years.  They roll in unannounced, I act all surprised and “Hey where did you come from?”, in turn they treat me like their bitch.  The tension headaches (95% of them) are the worst to contend with.  With migraines I was kicked in the ass, laid out in a dark bedroom swearing out loud uncontrollably.  But the tension ones, they squeeze the base of my neck in the same fashion a mother does to an unruly child in a public place.  Enough to make the point they are in control but allowing you to still walk/talk and “obey”.

But like some drug addict, I love the thrill of waking up and finding that empty void in your head where once was a headache.  Drop about three Excedrin or perhaps a couple of aspirin and about four ibuprofen, lay your head down on a cool pillow and wait for the magic.  This routine, I kid you not, is no different then some needle pusher scoring their junk (the headache itself), inserting the needle and waiting for the show. I enjoy the pain because I know I will enjoy the loss of said pain.  Sometimes I will delay the euphoria, ride the headache, just to make it seem that much better.

I’ve done this with bodily functions as well.

Yesterday was a wash, nothing accomplished what-so-ever, just multiple attempts at trying to gain that high of a retreating headache.  It’s still with me.  Varied levels of intensity and location about my head, neck and shoulders.  The proverbial squeezing of my neck, encouraging me to behave.

Speaking of which I better call my mother.